


pythagorean theorem of (love) triangles

by imposterhuman



Series: shield high school au [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (not really) - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Fluff, FrostIron - Freeform, High School Student Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Misunderstandings, Natasha & Loki Friendship, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark Friendship, Protective Natasha, Protective Pepper, Teacher Loki (Marvel), Teacher Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 14:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18153104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: pictures are making the rounds at shs of loki and thorobviously, this means that shs's power couple is breaking up, right?ft. terrifying shovel talks, a ted talk by natasha romanov





	pythagorean theorem of (love) triangles

**Author's Note:**

> wow i forgot about this series my bad
> 
> enjoy this pointless piece of fluff inspired by a commenter! i cant remember their name and im too lazy to look, but this is for you!
> 
> enjoy <3

“For the last time, Thor,” Mr. Laufeyson’s voice came from his classroom, slightly raised. “I don’t- what the hell are you doing?”

 

“Hugging you,” said an unfamiliar voice. “Because I love you, and this is how people show affection, Loki.”

 

“Disgusting,” Mr. L said primly but filled with fondness. “You hug terribly.”

 

“Shut up, Loki,” the voice said again, the smile clearly audible. “I’ll come by after work to get you. We can have dinner.”

 

Peter bit back on a gasp when a tall blond man came out of the classroom. “Uh, hi,” he said awkwardly. “I was just here for, um, papers! Yes, chemistry papers. Yep.”

 

The man quirked an eyebrow. “Okay, then,” he said, clearly amused. “Loki is inside.”

 

“T-thanks,” Peter stuttered, scurrying into the room. 

 

Mr. L was at his desk, his pale face slightly flushed. “What’s the matter, Peter?” he asked.

 

“Just here collecting papers for Mr. Stark,” Peter said, doing his best not to look like he was trying to figure out who the blond man was.

 

Mr. L smiled, just a little quirk of his mouth. “They’re on the desk,” he said, pointing to a stack.

 

“He also said to ask if you guys were still on for dinner,” Peter said meekly. It wasn’t unusual for Mr. S to ask him to pass on messages to Mr. L, especially when their schedules didn’t overlap, like that day. But after hearing the blond make plans, he wasn’t so sure Mr. S was going to be happy with the answer.

 

Mr. L shook his head. “Tell him that something came up, if you don’t mind?” he asked politely. “You have his class next, right?”

 

Peter nodded mutely. Mr. S was going to be so upset.

 

\---

 

“Did you guys see the guy following Mr. Laufeyson around?” Ned said as soon as he sat down at their lunch table. “He was like, all over him. It was kinda gross.”

 

“Like a golden retriever,” agreed MJ, sliding her tray next to Peter’s.

 

“They’re going out to dinner,” Peter chimed in. “Mr. L is ditching Mr. S for it.”

 

MJ and Ned exchanged a  _ look _ . “Maybe they’re old buddies,” MJ said, idly stirring her pudding. “Maybe they just want to catch up.”

 

“Is Mr. L cheating on Mr. S?” Peter asked, quiet and rushed. “Because they’re, like, the school’s power couple. It would really suck if they broke up. Mr. S would be mopey for weeks, probably.”

 

MJ poked him in the side. “And a mopey Mr. Stark means less lab time for Peter?” she teased.

 

“More, actually,” he said. “Except, less science and more stopping him from lighting himself on fire.”

 

“It’s probably nothing,” Ned said, scanning through the Starkeyson Twitter page. “Says here that the same guy has been spotted with Mr. S. Maybe they’re all just friends?”

 

“Soap opera twist,” said MJ, leaning in close. “They’re both cheating on each other with the same guy.”

 

“And neither of them know about it,” Peter added.

 

Ned’s fingers flew on his phone screen as he tweeted just that.

 

“Do either of you think the degree to which this school is invested in their relationship is a little weird?” MJ asked, pursing her lips in thought.

 

Peter shrugged. “There isn’t much else to entertain us,” he replied. “Except for the thing with Mr. Rogers.”

 

“What thing?” Ned asked, looking up.

 

“Do tell,” MJ purred.

 

Really, everyone at Shield High was an insatiable gossip, Peter thought, spilling the tea to his friends, their earlier topic completely forgotten in the face of new gossip.

 

\---

 

“Tony, I’m so sorry,” Pepper said, pulling Tony into a hug. “I heard about Loki.”

 

“What did that bastard do this time?” Tony complained, giving Pepper his attention. “I swear, if he lit my pillows on fire again, I’m going to fill his shampoo with hair dye. Or bleach.”

 

Pepper grimaced sympathetically. “You haven’t heard?” she asked gently. “I think Loki’s cheating on you.”

 

Tony stilled completely. “What?” he said, voice hoarse.

 

“Here,” Pepper held out her phone. On it was a picture of Loki holding some blond, close enough to kiss. Tony studied the photo for a full minute before bursting into laughter.

 

“Pep,” he said between fits. “Pepper, that’s  _ Thor _ .”

 

Pepper blushed as she realized her mistake. She had met Thor before; she and his girlfriend, Jane, had brunch once a month. “Oh,” she said lamely. “I didn’t recognize him. I guess this means I  _ don’t  _ have to disembowel Loki with one of my heels.”

 

“Please don’t disembowel my boyfriend. I like him alive.”

 

“Good thing that’s Thor, then,” she said darkly. “If it wasn’t, they’d never find his body.”

 

“You know Loki would never,” Tony said, a rare edge of sincerity to his voice. 

 

“I know,” Pepper conceded. “But you can’t blame me, what with the pictures. I’m protective of you; it’s a tragedy.”

 

Tony smiled at her warmly. “What would I do without you, Pep?”

 

“Stupid things,” she said primly. “Should I point out your MIT years as evidence?”

 

“Low blow, that was.”

 

“Spring break, 1987.”

 

“You weren’t even  _ there _ !” Tony hissed. “I’m going to fight Rhodey. He’s the only one who knows and he’s a blabbermouth!”

 

Pepper smirked. “Will that be all, Mr. Stark?” she asked a fuming Tony.

 

He sighed dramatically. “That will be all, Miss Potts.”

 

\---

 

“Remember the shovel talk I gave you when you and Tony first got together?” Natasha looked positively dangerous, cornering Loki in his classroom after third period.

 

“Something about ripping my intestines out and feeding them to me if I hurt him?” Loki quoted innocently. “How can I help you, Natasha?”

 

“Are you cheating on Tony?” she asked bluntly. 

 

Loki wrinkled his nose in confusion. “Of course not,” he said. “Why on earth would you think that?”

 

In response, Natasha held out her phone, opened to the students’ Twitter page. A picture of him and Thor embracing was in almost every tweet. The angle was just right that it almost looked like they could be kissing. Loki couldn’t help it; he started laughing.

 

“Natasha,” he said when he could breathe again. “That’s my  _ brother _ .”

 

“He looks nothing like you,” Natasha pressed.

 

“I’m adopted,” Loki said with a raised eyebrow.

 

Natasha visibly relaxed. “Good,” she said. “I was worried I’d have to kill you and get blood all over this dress. It’s new, you know.”

 

“How come Tony doesn’t get threats like these?” Loki teased. 

 

“He does,” she admitted finally. “I confess to holding a small amount of fondness for you, too. Your classroom was closer, though. And besides, it isn’t him in these pictures. I like you, but I’ll still kick your ass if you hurt him. And vice versa, of course.”

 

“Are you sure you’re not an assassin?” he asked skeptically. 

 

She rolled her eyes. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” she said sweetly.

 

Loki eyed her carefully. “You’re terrifying,” he admitted.

 

She flicked her hair over her shoulder, blowing him a kiss as she left. “And don’t you forget it.”

 

\---

 

“Have you heard?” Tony said idly, flicking through his phone from where he was curled up with Loki in the teachers’ lounge. “Apparently, you’re cheating on me.”

 

“Am I really?” Loki curled his long fingers through Tony’s hair.

 

“With Thor, too,” said Tony with a smirk. “I mean, how could you not tell me that you’re leaving me for your  _ brother _ ?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Loki deadpanned. “I just couldn’t resist his intelligence and charm. How can you ever forgive me?”

 

Tony laughed so hard he fell off the couch. Thor was wonderful, really, but no one had ever called him  _ intelligent _ . “I’m not sure I can,” he answered, gigging. “You’ve just… betrayed all of my trust. How could you?” By the end of his sentence, he was barely breathing through the laughter. 

 

“I’m not sure, honestly,” Loki said, smiling back indulgently. “A severe lapse in judgement on my part, it appears. Although, Thor  _ is  _ better looking…”

 

Tony’s laughter stopped abruptly. “Take that back,” he glared, looking like an angry kitten. “Or I’ll make you sleep on the couch.”

 

“You’ll get cold halfway through the night and drag me back into bed.”

 

“I’ll break out the electric blankets.”

 

“Fine,” Loki huffed, a teasing glint in his eyes. “You’re much prettier than Thor. The prettiest princess in all the lands.”

 

“Fuck off, Lokes,” Tony said, swatting his boyfriend’s thigh. “Or I’ll leave you for Thor.”

 

“You wouldn’t.”

 

“I bet  _ he  _ doesn’t have icy feet that he likes to put on his partner in the middle of the night.”

 

“I don’t, either!”

 

“Keep telling yourself that, Lokes,” Tony leaned in for a lazy kiss. “Want to go make out somewhere public to reaffirm our relationship?”

 

Loki’s smirk was downright villainous. “You know me so well.”

 

(The reprimand from Fury on appropriate PDA was so worth the look on everyone’s faces.)

**Author's Note:**

> i already have another installment in the works for this series, i promise it isnt abandoned!
> 
> let me know what you thought!
> 
> comments/kudos/prompts make me a happy gal


End file.
